AMERICA’S ONLINE DATING PROFILE

Beleaguered country looking for a strong partner who is able to understand, comfort her wounds, listen to her fears, and lead her calmly from chaos to peace. She is a fairly young country, comparatively speaking, and  her history has not been without pain and tragedy. But she has a great way of introducing herself:

“Give me your tired, your poor, your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, the wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, tempest-tossed to me. I lift my lamp beside the golden door.”

A prospective partner must revere and honor those words and the sentiment behind them. No editing allowed.

Must be engaging and communicative. No hiding in the office or using work as an excuse to not talk. This country needs to hear from the person she has decided to partner with — frequently. Must never be dismissive of her fears and the rage that sometimes boils up from the well of history. Partners are there in the good and bad times, and right now America is going through some bad times. The right relationship — one based on trust and honesty — is a powerful thing. It can move mountains and lift the sky. Finding the right relationship, however, is no easy task.

Must answer a question with an answer related to that question, not a soundbite rehearsed earlier in the day. If you are asked about climate change, don’t give an answer about Medicare. How would you like it if you asked someone, “Where do you want to go for dinner?” And they answered, “There is entirely too much money wasted on foolish research and dead-end programs, while the infrastructure of cities is crumbling.” That would probably make you a little angry, wouldn’t it?

Must speak like an adult who has been taught to respect others and show courtesy to all. No name-calling, no squinchy faces and eye-rolling, no words like ‘stupid’ and ‘loser.’ Relationships are an adult game. Immature loudmouths need not apply. Must be responsible in whatever declarations you make by backing them up with facts. Not hyperbole. Facts. America is an intelligent country and should be treated as such. And by the way, do I need to point out that lying is just plain wrong?

Must be able to dry the tears and soothe the pain of a country that sees blood staining too many streets, and fears violence is lurking around every corner.

Must like broccoli. Okay, not really, but there was a past relationship with someone who hated broccoli and things didn’t go so well. So there is some sensitive history around the subject of broccoli. Let’s just say, must like vegetables…so you can stay healthy and strong for what is going to be a bit of a bumpy ride. Rewarding, but bumpy.

2 Responses to AMERICA’S ONLINE DATING PROFILE

  1. Rodney Wilson says:

    It’s a tall order. Clearly, among the current crop, most do not qualify.

  2. David Marks says:

    America the beautiful, and how poignant a piece you’ve written, despite invoking the sentiments gestured by George H. W. and his disdain for all things broccoli. In truth, that was a purely American faux pas, but not as American as apple pie. Love this, Patti!

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