Category Archives: Life Lessons

THANKSGIVING 2020

Thanksgiving has, for most of my life, been a difficult holiday. Growing up, the tensions and turmoil in my home didn’t take a break when the holidays rolled around. In fact, they often got worse. Thanksgiving, being an occasion that

WAITING

Every year, around this time — the end of May — I feel myself slipping into the same suspended state I was in 15 years ago when we were waiting for my father to die. It comes with the purple

SEVENTEEN YEARS AGO

Seventeen years ago, on September 11th, my mother and I stood at my father’s bedside to tell him what had happened to his beloved country. He was almost completely bedridden by then and had retreated into the mysterious silence that

EASTER

When I was young, our Spring-time ritual was to go to Phoenix, Arizona for the Easter holiday. Phoenix was where my mother’s parents lived, and we took the train because my father didn’t like to fly. I remember those Easters

MEN WHO BEAT WOMEN

In the Nineties, I dated a man whose hands frightened me. He didn’t raise them in anger to hit me, but he had battered me so thoroughly emotionally and psychologically that I always kept an eye on his hands, suspecting

A CHRISTMAS WISH

Christmas has always been a difficult time of year for me. It’s no secret that I come from a challenged family, and Christmas did not bring out the best in us. Looking back on my childhood, my fondest memories were

MEMORIAL DAY

When I was in high school, a boy a year ahead of me lied about his age and joined the Marines. It was the height of the Vietnam War, and that’s where he was headed. I didn’t know him that

HOME

The street behind my gym has become a sort of tent city. Homeless people have turned the sidewalks on both sides into their own encampments. Shelters have been fashioned from blue tarp, piles of bedding are wedged between plastic water

IN A FRIEND’S DEATH, A LESSON FOR THE LIVING

I wrote this in 1999; it was published in The Washington Post. Lewis, the friend I lost during a time when so many were dying of AIDS, came into my mind recently, so I decided to reprint this.   A

GOODBYE 2015

I’m glad to see this year go. I’m sure I’m not alone in this. Whichever month you choose, the memories haunt, the heart hurts, and it’s devastating to tally up the tragedies. So many lost lives, so much violence that