Category Archives: Uncategorized

VANISHING INTO DARKNESS

In Naomi Judd’s 1993 book Love Can Build a Bridge, she wrote about “vanishing silently into the darkness.” I thought about that line this morning when I read about her death. Her daughters were careful and respectful in their statement,

GRIEF FELT AROUND THE WORLD

I’ve spent a lot of time talking to people about grief. In the six years that I ran my support group, Beyond Alzheimer’s, grief was a frequent topic. And even when it wasn’t being actively discussed, it hovered in the

WE NEED FIRESIDE CHATS NOW

I was in grade school when I learned in History class about Franklin Delano Roosevelt’s “fireside chats” in the 30s and 40s. My initial image was of the president sitting beside a fireplace speaking to the country.  Having grown up with

WAITING FOR GOD

In the Los Angeles neighborhood where I grew up there is an intersection where four streets meet. The area in the middle is a wide circle and when I was a child I dreamed I was standing there, waiting for

BEHIND THE CHRISTMAS LIGHTS

I have very early memories of being a child in the back seat of my parents’ car on a chilly night close to Christmas. Each year, my father quite dependably drove us around the neighborhood streets to look at Christmas

WHEN AMERICA PAUSES TO GRIEVE

            I watched Elizabeth Dole walk slowly down the aisle of the National Cathedral, her eyes full of sorrow and memory and the strength that human beings manage to call up in times of great loss. I thought of the day

THE FACES OF ABORTION

I remember the smell of blood. Metallic, almost like rust. My friend sat on the toilet as blood streamed out of her; I was perched on the edge of the tub in her small bathroom. She and the guy she’d

ABOUT GRATITUDE

In my new book, Floating in the Deep End, I write about the importance of finding gratitude even in the choppy, unfriendly tides of losing a loved one to Alzheimer’s. When I was running my support group, Beyond Alzheimer’s, if

FLOATING IN THE DEEP END (an excerpt)

In the end, we remember people in pieces – slivers of memory, images, bursts of sound and trails of whispers. When I remember my father, I think of his eyes. As a child, I searched for them, wanting feverishly for

LEADING US THROUGH GRIEF

Just after the bombings in Afghanistan killed American soldiers as well as Afghan citizens, President Biden addressed the families of the dead by saying, “You get this feeling like you’re being sucked into a black hole in the middle of