The End of DOMA

Mixed in with the elation over the Supreme Court’s decision to end the Defense of Marriage Act are, I think, some sobering lessons. It’s interesting timing that the court’s decision came on the same day that Paula Deen finally appeared on the Today Show and gave her tearful pronouncement that she isn’t a racist. Both news stories are, at their root, about prejudice. Whether racial or sexual, the issue beneath both is how we treat our fellow human beings. No one can rationally identify why they are bothered by gay people getting married. The opponents of same-sex marriage frequently fall back on the Bible…which was of course written by men and is full of contradictions. But speaking of God, isn’t God supposed to be a loving deity, who wants joy and peace for His children? Somehow that concept gets kicked into the gutter by those who judge others harshly and unfairly, and who need to create God in their image in order to justify their positions. It was a milestone day in this country, there is no doubt about that. But those who put gay marriage in the same category as criminal behavior won’t silence their judgments. That’s the sobering part.

Paula Deen actually had an opportunity to teach people something about the power of words that wound. Words you might have heard frequently, or grown up around, especially if you grew up in the South 64 years ago. Words that are not casual or mild. Words that should never come easily out of your mouth because they are weighty with history and stained with blood. She could have taught people about changing and growing. Instead she talked about her own pain. She said, “I is what I is, and I’m not gonna change.” That pretty much sums it up. You’re either changing each day and trying to learn, or you’re not.

Every person and every society will be remembered for how they treated others. Were they guided by prejudice or kindness? Judgment or acceptance? I believe that’s in the Bible…as in “cast your bread upon the waters.”

7 Responses to The End of DOMA

  1. Patti Petow says:


    You’ve said it all. I cannot think of one thing to add. Thank you. I hope your words help humankind to “get it.”

    Patti Petow
    Clearwater, FL

  2. Neil Campbell says:

    Patti, your jubilation is at the expense of those like me who want to live quietly without The Federal, State or Local Governments dictating my peaceable behavior. In addition, Justice Kennedy and his Majority essentially nullified the First Amendment’s freedom of the press, religious freedom and the ability to associate with men and women of my choice who live peaceably and tolerantly but refuse to accept others lifestyles much in the same way they do not accept peaceable and tolerant lifestyle which are now assign a Bigot’s Scarlet A. How ironic the distraction of a person of little consequence permits the Politicians and their Judges to magically steal our Liberty.

    • Patti Davis says:

      I read your comment 3 times and it makes absolutely no sense. I’m approving it on my site only so others can partake of it.

      • Jhill Perran says:

        It wasn’t just you, Patti. I went back and re-read it SIX times, and I still don’t understand what the point being made was, nor why it appeared that YOU were being slammed? Still scratching my head.

    • ken Grow says:

      Neil Campbell, you talk about YOUR rights. So, forget anyone elses. That is what Patti and others are speaking about. shame on you sir. shame on you and your righteous attitude. Thank you Ms. Davis for your opinions which I happen to agree with.

  3. Patti, Thank you for contrasting Paula Dean’s setback with the Court’s progress to remind us that even though prejudice may always exist, how we treat others is what matters. My professor at Harvard is sharing your powerful statement with our class because you’re saying what needs to be said at this important time.

  4. Jhill Perran says:

    Dear Patti,
    Clap! Clap! Clap!
    That is all.
    Jhill Perran

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *