When my sister Maureen was dying from melanoma, she did not choose to “go gently into that good night.” She fought. She took a slew of experimental drugs (including Thalidomide, which they thought might chase the tumors that were popping up all over her body.) It would not have been my choice, but I could say nothing. It was her life, her impending death, her personal relationship with her own mortality and, ultimately, it was her choice.

Brittany Maynard made the exact opposite choice, and had to move from California to Oregon in order to die the way she wanted — peacefully, with her loved ones surrounding her, before her pain became unbearable. It’s poignant that she has spoken to us from the grave; the video of her explaining her decision and pleading for change has given her an immortal voice in the debate over how people should die.

Imagine knowing that you are dying, suffering through the devastating symptoms that Brittany Maynard endured, and then having to pick up your life and move to a different state so that you can control the circumstances of your own passing. Moving is traumatic and stressful for healthy people. For someone in Brittany Maynard’s condition it must have been excruciating. Yet the debate rages on about whether or not other states, including California, should allow people to die as they wish to, with dignity as they define it.

Oregon’s Death With Dignity law has been in effect since 1997 and there have been no circumstances in which a person was murdered by a vengeful relative, or forced to consume the medication against their will. The same is true in Washington and Vermont, which both have similar legislation. The “slippery slope” that opponents warn about hasn’t occurred.

Death is a difficult subject. We don’t like to think about our own mortality, yet it looms in front of us whether we are ill or not. Oftentimes fear paralyzes us. If we just don’t think about death, some part of us whispers, maybe we can stave it off, ensure that it won’t come knocking on our door for a long, long time. We know that makes no sense, but there is that irrational part of us that thinks, as a child would, ‘If I close my eyes, you can’t see me.’ Maybe much of the controversy over Death with Dignity legislation is based in fear. If there is a law in place, we can’t close our eyes. It limits our escapist tendencies and desires.

But Brittany Maynard left us something else besides her courageous and very public choice. She showed us that by accepting death and orchestrating her own end the way she wanted, she gained peace of mind. I’m sure she had moments of fear, even terror, but what was so evident in her communication to the world was her calmness and her serenity. Death is inevitable for all of us. Sometimes we have no choice how we die. Fate blindsides us and in a moment we’re gone. But if we have the opportunity to bring the sweetness of life and its freedoms to the moment of our death, why would anyone say we don’t have that right?