Dear Hillary,

We only met once, so I doubt that you will ever see this. But I do feel the need to express myself about your campaign and the up-coming debates. Lately it seems as if you and your running mate, Tim Kaine, are trying to out-bully Donald Trump. It appears to have started when he called you a bigot. I can understand how this would infuriate you — it’s a terrible thing to accuse someone of — but may I suggest that responding in kind by pointing out his racist tendencies is simply getting down into the mud with a mud-throwing bully? All that is accomplished is, you both get dirty. I am certain that, when Chelsea was growing up, if she was bullied by a schoolmate, you didn’t tell her to go out there and be meaner than that kid. This would not be good parenting. Well, we’re living through the adult version of that scenario and I believe I speak for many people when I plead with you to please act like the adult here — don’t respond to Donald Trump’s bullying. Ever. America is starved for some show of dignity in this election year, and you are the only one who can provide it.

Now about the debates. According to the news, you are studying and rehearsing. This is a good thing. One report suggested you might be rehearsing with several people pretending to be Donald Trump because you can’t know which Donald Trump will show up. While it is true that debating Trump is bit like debating Sybil, I think it could be overwhelming to try and suss out all 16 personalities and come up with a game plan for each one. What about this? What about being so impenetrably calm that none of his guises can throw you off? What about responding to every taunt and innuendo, every insult, with an encyclopedic knowledge of the facts and issues facing this country (and this world) today so that he will look like a buffoon no matter which one of his personalities emerges? You could easily make it seem like you showed up for a presidential debate and he showed up for a fight in the sandbox.

The one time we met was at my mother’s service. The way you looked at me after my eulogy, the pride and the understanding in your eyes and the slight nod of your head signaling your approval was a small private moment between us, but it was a huge moment in my life. Your compassion and, yes, your approval, meant the world to me, as did the words we shared afterward. I don’t think many people have seen that side of you. I think they should. A president has to parent America and there are a lot of dimensions to that task. You may be debating Sybil, but the consistency, comfort and knowledge of a parent who can responsibly lead our fractured country into more peaceful times will leave Sybil chattering among 16 personalities, none of which are capable of leading.

48 Responses to DEAR HILLARY

  1. Nanci VeSota says:

    Beautifully written Patti. Thank you for writing this. So many of us share your feelings. You word them beautifully and I thank you for this.
    Nanci Hale-Hall-VeSota

    • Kathy Thomas says:

      I so much agree and this needed to be said. His irrational behavour frightens me. I can only hope that Hillary Clinton reads the letter as I have hoped the same. Stay presidential.

    • The forgotten says:

      As a Marine who spent 10 years homeless after my service, and watched all the suffering vets. Hillary had 30 years to do more than talk. Also….PARENT us?!!! We are not children, im a grown man. I have a right to make up my own mind on how to live. But the government gets bigger and bigger and more full of crap. If hillary gets elected…MANY of my brothers are prepared to revolt. We have had enough.

  2. Jodie says:

    Patti, I love this and I really hope you can find a way to make sure she sees it. I can’t imagine why thru friends of friends you can’t. I have often thought the same thing. If only more people could see the real Hillary. As Trump has often said if you tell a lie often enough people will believe it. THAT is exactly what’s happened with Hillary. I can’t get anyone in my party to tell me what it is exactly they don’t like about her or her politics. They have no idea but just heard she’s not trustworthy. Really??? So please get this missive to her. I think if nothing else it will make her feel better, if not think about your wise words. She may win, but winning with such a high rating of distrust that is not deserved?? Ouch! Wish there was a way to show the people how wrong they’ve been. No one is perfect but when people don’t like you based on mostly lies, maybe that’s something that can be fixed. Thank you Patti, for a woman who can live the rest of her life with ego driven privilege, you’re damn special!

    • Alicia Anderson says:

      I am one of the people that u will never know, but I can assure u they r not counting on the nobodys . With that said we know a lie when we hear one and any woman that can stand by her husband like hillary did is a woman that I will support anywhere. She has shown her strength and her courage! Patty spoke the very thing I’ve been praying for . Hillary has such class and I pray that she continue to show that during the debates. I vote Hillary. Her reputation goes before her!

  3. A Lesson many Americans would do good to understand and then follow with action. thanks Patti

  4. David Marks says:

    “A president has to parent America.” You make the unseen tangible, and interestingly, we have yet to have a female president. Sexist though this may be, there is great wisdom to the notion that an experienced woman is the figure to do just that. Few men have maintained a familial warmth when they’ve taken seat in the Oval Office and faced a nation in turmoil.. Your dad was one, and that shared moment of understanding between Hillary and you, brings comfort to a weary and confused electorate. That’s one hell of a share, Patti.

  5. Stephen Fortlouis says:

    You are a truly uplifted person. Thank you and I suspect Hillary will read this and follow through.

  6. Karen Schoenfeld says:

    Hmmm…. I KIND of disagree. I don’t see her quite as “getting in the mud” with DT. She may be getting her toes close, but to use HIS own words in her responses, has not been the same as just lashing out at him willy-nilly, calling him names or just flat out lying about him, such as he does. I have found some of her ads quite thought provoking in terms of dots I had not really connected until seeing them right in front of me. Just my opinion.

    I do think she will come to the debates with a calm and impenetrable presence. She has had to do it for the last few decades.

  7. An eloquent and classy bit of advice that is right on the money.
    Thank you Patti.

  8. You took my very same thoughts and created an elegant, cogent message. I couldn’t have said it better myself… so I’m glad you strung all the right thoughts and words together for me. I will share your post. Thank you!

    • Erika Griesemer says:

      Obviously, Hillary didn’t get the message when I wrote to her about talk about the issues instead of Donald Trump. Hopefully, she will listen to you. I don’t have much power being low on the totem pole in such but I wish someone on her campaign would show her what you wrote because you are right and I hope everyone else is thinking the same thing.

  9. James Leseke says:

    It’s a tricky business standing up to a bully but my mother always told me how important it is to do so. If it is up to Hillary to show what an adult to do, and how to act then I’m having a hard time finding fault with her. She has made it clear how out of the ordinary her opponent is. She has made it clear how he is an abrogation, a one off, and not a part of the Republican mainstream. She has made it clear what kind of people her opponent is aligned with and how perverse, and possibly Un-American those people are.

    This is novel, we as a nation have never since Reconstruction had to deal with a set of people, a minority of the nation, have offered up an ideology so antithetical or so poisonous to the nation. How long must she hold her tongue about the emperor not only having no cloths but also how he appears to be performing a rather rude and lewd act while scampering about in his birthday suite. Is there not a point where some responsible politician, acting on the requirements of basic citizenship needs to shout out “please stop what you are doing Donald, right this instant”? More to the point how would doing so be considered “bullying”

    This is one of the few times Hillary brutally lacing into her opponent is called for. The Donald is just so beyond the pail. The Alt Right is so toxic that the only option available is a brutal check to the proceedings. Clinton did beat Trump from pillar to post on the Alt Right, and maybe she took a little too much glee in doing so. Maybe she did keep on swinging when he was on the ground, limp and defenseless. But at certain point more civilized options are no longer available.

    I would be nice if this election was more about policy than personalities, but we got the election we have, not the election we wished for. Ever since Donald Trump came down that escalator to that rent a crowd we have been inflicted with a campaign that even Lewis Carroll would have found odd.

    It’s a sad business that Ms. Clinton has had to come out all sharp elbows since she dispatched Bernie Sanders but these are the realities of this general election. Trump was sooner or later drag her into the mud, as would have any of his primary opponents. The question was not if she would get dragged into the pigsty but how early and how often. This was always going to be a nasty bit of work, we just didn’t know how nasty.

    I can not find any real fault in the way she is campaigning. I can not really find any fault with her and Tim Kaine laying into Trump and Pence for all their worth. It’s not like the Democratic candidates are putting out falsehoods or exaggerating; they are hanging Trump by his own words and his own actions. It is what I would expect them to do as competent politicians : take the rope handed to them by the opposition and use it to good effect against that opposition.

  10. Laura Mellor-Martinez says:

    Well said.

  11. Bob Dennis says:

    Thank you Patti.

  12. Susan Freer says:

    As with the others before me I agree. I just talked to a friend over lunch yesterday about this very thing. Hillary is much better than DT and she doesn’t need to respond in kind to his insulting talk.

  13. Maria Zito says:

    Why don’t you get out there with this story of how personable and caring Hillary was to you? My father was not a president, but I’m a New Yorker and I saw what Hillary did for us before and after 911. I trust her with my life and those of my children and grandchildren. This constant lie that she is untrustworthy was slung out there by Republicans who can’t stand the idea of another Clinton in the White House, particularly a female one.
    The Republicans loved your father. I see Ron Jr. speaking out on various media outlets. Come out, Patti. You gave Hillary advice. Now, help her get into the White House. Get on those news shows. Country over Party. I always admired you for speaking out in your youth no matter how they trashed you in the media.

  14. Pat D. says:

    Your father is smiling down at you and beaming with pride. You’ve written such an eloquent letter! Thank you for putting this all in perspective. Here’s hoping Hillary will see your letter! Well written, Patti!

  15. Sybil Estess says:

    Get the letter to her, Patti. E-mail it to her website. Anyway. Just get it there. This is the second time you have had mature and honest words–the other to DT. About the possible legislative appointments. (A woman in Houston, who knows Hillary’s not perfect, but doesn’t believe in guns, and thinks that we cannot have this uninformed, ignorant buddy of Putin’s in the American future, if we are to last as a free nation

  16. David Deutsch says:

    Very moving, Patti, particularly your vignette of the exchange between you and Hillary at your mother’s service. I think your mom would be proud, and that Hillary may very well take note of your excellent advice.

  17. Professor Jim says:

    Spot on, Patti. Incredibly inspiring insight and wonderful advice for Hilary and the whole country. I am very impressed and hope that she will take your advice.

  18. Brian H West Hollywood CA says:


    Thank you for this. It healed a little piece of me that breaks with each day He gets closer to staining your family name and threatning us all with his petty, small-minded and yes, evil ways. Today was one of those days – his phony desperate play for a few Latino votes and white surburban women. I agree with what you said – I twinged when I heard/saw Tim Kaine throwing mud back. No good. No good. But I know She has to battle him some. She must stand up to this bully. Though there is a right way – I just don’t know exactly what that way is. But getting in the mud with him – no, that’s def not this we know.

    Again, thank you for sharing. It felt good to read your thoughts. It’s getting so insane. I can almost barely take another day knowing he’s out there – seemingly forever now. Please help Her as best you can. She’s in the fight of her life on behalf of all of us who know what’s at stake…

    Many blessings. And thank you for loving the animals too. There’s a special place in Heaven…

  19. Nida Recabo, M.S.W. says:

    I love the way Patti put into words her thoughts and feelings in this letter to Hillary. We all saw her grow up from what has been said of her as “the rebel child who became the prodigal daughter.” Her relationship with her mother was that of the typical “love-hate” as she was growing up rebelling and being defiant with a strong-willed mother who after all was the wife of the U.S. President. As in family dynamics, the younger woman grew up and by most accounts, she and her mother were able to come to good terms and were able to redefine and redevelop their mother-daughter relationship. Thus,leading to her telling Hillary about how they seemed to have that momentary connection when she eulogized her mother Nancy, that accepting, understanding look from her. The young rebel woman has indeed come of age. This is what her message to Hillary conveys….a truly evolved human being, in both their cases, truly evolved women, do not need to stoop down to Sybil-type personas to define who they are and what they are about. Patti is right. Maybe, it is time for our counry to have a female President…a parent who will be strong but gentle like most of our mothers and grandmothers were. “It does take a village” as Hillary would say.It is time for our country to mend and heal..and we do not need anymore “flammable” personalities who are serving as conductors of hate, rage, bullying, racism, etc. As a clinically trained medical social worker, I always tell my young patients who come in as defiant and angry…”.when we were growing up and we were misbehaving, all our mothers had to do was to look sternly at us and say to us, “wait until we get home,or wait until I tell your father.” Thus, I often wonder what Trump’s relationship with his mother was like as he oftenly berated women, disrespected them, bullied them…such underlying anger…and we know of his father who over indulged him into the spoiled but rich kid he grew up to become.
    Patti, in my favorite summation, has become a truly evolved woman of substance, with this letter to Hillary.

  20. Lorraine Batchelor says:

    My heart swelled with pride for your parents after reading your letter. It could not be stated any better.

  21. Annemarieke Tazelaar says:

    You are so right – and so eloquent! Thank you, Patti. Hillary has so many great plans for our country – for Climate change, for helping the mentally ill, and the many things her foundation has done around the world, but also in this country. She has not had the free pass of the Press to get her message out there, as has DT. I hope she takes the opportunity in the debates to express the plans she has for this country that are so dear to her heart, and for which she has been preparing for nearly half her life.

  22. Dear Ms Davis,

    After the “open letter” appeared on my AOL web site, I could not in clear conscience ignore the power, honesty and strength contained in your message to Mrs Clinton. First, I am a life-long registered Democrat, so I will not be offering any apologies for the “slant” of my own stubborn views and principles.

    I can only briefly state here, “I truly respected and adored the man you called father. Thank you for bringing the 2016 presidential election back to reality! Your endearing words to Mrs Clinton can be “felt and shared,” by those of us who hold decency to a very high standard. As I do when this writer thinks of your family, I certainly hope that those advisers (with Mrs Clinton’s ear) shall read, pause, and think to express, what is best about this country and how Blessed our very existence is, in a free and unequaled caring of mankind.

    Thank you and (most) of your extended family for caring so much for others, as you have expressed for decades. Blessings and Peace to you always.

  23. Joseph Haller says:

    Dear Patti:
    I applaud the eloquence and especially the good intentions expressed in this letter. You are a true patriot, and I wish you nothing but the best.

    Sadly, I must disagree. Much as I dislike some of what Donald Trump says, I despise what Hillary does, has done, and would do, even more. In this election, Trump gets my vote…

  24. Barb for Hillary says:

    THANK YOU PATTI! I think you are dead on, but I also think as long as she is responding to issue based things, she should respond. She has been lied about,and called names, and she has not responded. Even tonight, after his trip to Mexico, he is on TV lying about, and calling her names. I have the highest regards for most people, but I can’t believe so many Americans either believe his lies, or even worse, think the way he does. How sad. I don’t scare easily, but I am terrified of the thought of Donald Trump being President, because he would do so much damage before we could successfully impeach him. I know, in my heart, that we have only one choice on election day, but to vote for Hillary Clinton. Patti, please use whatever power you have to get your message to Hillary, and the American people. Thank you.

  25. Edward Jenny says:

    Good solid advice and observations of Hilary’s humanity and the need to let that shine more … like you do so often 🙂
    be well, Peace.

  26. PRPaul1 says:

    Dear Hillary,
    Let something that has resonance take care of the big bully. Borrow an few words from a popular song and make them fit the situation. You need lots of billboards stating this simple fact:
    Do it for the people who have similar feelings. Make nit a sure thing!

  27. Sharon Harris says:

    Blessings to you, Patti for such a heartfelt message. I totally agree with you. I pray that God will strengthen Hillary everyday. Sometimes people are so cruel . I sure hope that someone will tell her about the post you have sent her. Be Blessed Sharon.

  28. G. F. says:

    Thank you Patti, what a wonderful letter, it conveys what a lot of us feel, but don’t have a chance to articulate. Let him hang himself, with his own words…hopefully he will get pummeled by Hillary during the debate(s)!….and I hope America’s voters don’t get convinced and swayed by Trumps flip-flops and lies. The media has created this Egomaniac, by giving him, and still give, unlimited access to the airwaves, at the same time doubling down on the “Hillary is not trustworthy” story…instead of pointing out, just how untrustworthy Trump is! I hope Hillary gets to read your letter. Tough I think she had to defend herself somewhat, she needs to keep talking of her plans to improve the life of ordinary Americans.

  29. Julia A says:

    Beautiful Letter Patti ! !
    So glad you thought to take the time to compose it and to share it.

  30. Mrs Toni Gold says:

    Thank you Patti for your encouraging words to Hilary Clinton. So beautifully expressed and wise. I’m hopeful that these words will find their way to her and she will embrace them. I agree with everything you expressed and although we all know that DT and his dirty band of thieves will try everything to provoke her, she hopefully will remain totally focused on her message. And be able to not bite at his attacks. He will probably include Bill Clinton’s indiscretions and try to bait her. But Hilary is one smart cookie and she will probably be prepared for that obvious attack. Lord knows DT has plenty of dirty little skeletons in his own closet that no one seems to care about. The people he surrounds himself with all look like they need a bath. But we have seen Hilary stand up to the 11 hr. grilling before Congress. Bravo to her for that show. We know there is real strength in her personal constitution and we’ve seen she has certainly held her own in that arena. I’d like to see Trump stand up under such scrutiny. I feel that the elephant in the room that we women don’t shout about is the fact that she is a woman running for President and there are many men that can’t stand it. They are the same narrow minds that are still reeling about the 2 term President Obama and how they failed at keeping a black man out of the office. And no matter what he has been able to accomplish for this country the haters will never give him any credit and they will continue to dismiss him and block everything he tries to do in office. They will continue to distort the facts regarding Obama and Clinton in order to create disharmony in the country. And block him every step of the way. I am afraid for Hilary for the same reasons. There’s so much divisiveness in government now I don’t know how we go back to civility again. Its very sad and worrisome looking ahead. We will be rooting and praying that she stands up to that blowhard and lets him spin his wheels and continue to make a fool of himself. That’s what he does best. I am originally from New York City where there is so much diversity and yet the city flourishes and neighborhoods are filled with people learning to live together peacefully. I hope they continue to be more accepting and supportive of Hilary. I now live in South Florida and it is a very different feeling down here. I sense the “I don’t trust Hillary crap has stuck” even though there’s no explanation as to why. They just listen to the rhetoric and the smears. Very scary to think he has a chance when you watch his rallies. And the lemmings he leads on. We all know he will never do anything he promises. What truly amazes me if why do these average middle/working class people think someone like Trump cares about them? Its baffling! He and his family have no clue as to what they would be walking into. This is an ego driven man looking to put a TRUMP sign on our White House. Can you imagine? So Hilary, we in your corner are counting on you to blow him off the stage. Remember Patti’s words! Stay strong!

  31. Rosemary McKeown says:

    I agree Hillary is a woman of dignity and grace.

    shes been thru a lot in her life and kept her dignity

    and made all of us proud she should continue to do so..

    shes come to far and worked to hard to let that bully get

    to her..thanks Patti you said what we all feel.

  32. Rosemary McKeown says:

    Thanks Patti

    I agree Hillary is a woman of dignity and grace.shes made us all
    proud…shes been thru a lot in her life and maintained her dignity
    she should continue to keep her dignity and not let that bully get
    to her..

  33. Hugh Schurtz says:

    The first intelligent article (comment) about this Presidential Race. Perfectly written. I feel Ms. Davis captures why many Republicans cannot vote for Donald Trump and are supporting quietly or (Meg Whitman) vocally, Hillary Clinton. It is refreshing to hear Ms. Davis view that to not respond to “schoolyard taunt bullying” shows dignity and leadership. I wish the Media Executives, News Reporters, Anchors, (Journalists) would report from this intelligent dignified viewpoint rather than the latest “shock value sound bite trash” that is being force fed to the public.
    Bravo Ms. Davis … Truly Bravo!

  34. Jessica Karim says:

    Patti thank you for this article. I hope you will be able to personally talk with Hillary and convey what a lot of us feel, but don’t have a chance to articulate to her directly. Hillary had to defend herself somewhat, now she needs to keep talking of her plans to improve the life of ordinary Americans and not be drawn in to DT comments about her or the Media Executives, News Reporters, Anchors, (Journalists) wanting her to comment on what DT said. Thank you for bringing the 2016 presidential election back to reality!

  35. Joanne Hansen says:

    I just tweeted the link to this letter to HRC. Would be great if everyone who agrees did the same.

  36. KIM MCDONOUGH says:

    Beautiful,insightful letter. You put in words how so many of us American’s feel.
    Our fears of DT becoming our next President is such a fear of the unknown. Hillary has made her mistakes but, she will fight and defend our nation. It was so long ago that Hillary was being lauded as an exemplary secretary of state. We know the real Hillary. We don’t know the real Donald Trump.

  37. Maxine Moshay says:

    Dear Patti,

    You wrote the words I have been thinking for months now. I always felt that during the debates Mrs. Clinton should respond that she is not there to trade insults, but to debate the issues. Thank you for reaching out for all of us. Kind regards.

  38. Doris Trader-Moulden says:

    This letter was so classy such as yourself!Thank you for taking your time to write this letter. Much ❤

  39. lindaM says:

    Thank you Patti. I have been wishing there was a way I could get the same message to her. Responding to his insults and garble is ridiculous and makes both look bad. Let him just look bad on his own. Do not stoop to his level. All he does is make a fool of himself. He is an idiot.

  40. Jesse Bicad says:

    Muchas Gracias Patti! I believe Hillary will carry out a prior strategy I heard – similar to the lyric if she takes the high road, and he takes the low road Hillary will certainly get to “presiding” before he does. Vaya con Dios.

  41. Thank you so much for the letter. That is real nice of you. I totally agree with you that Hillary is a woman of dignity and grace and has made us all proud. Kind regards to you my friend.

  42. Rodney Wilson says:

    “A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.” – Proverbs 15:1

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