In keeping with the bombastic cruelty of Donald Trump, who has no problem going after a disabled journalist, a gold-star family, women, immigrants, and anyone who criticizes him, an aid named Kelly Sadler has now hit a new low by saying that it doesn’t matter if John McCain opposes the nomination of Gina Haspel because “he’s dying anyway.” This, of course, is not the first time Senator McCain has been maligned in this New World Order of Donald Trump. There was Trump’s comment about how he wasn’t a hero because he was captured. Then there was the recent public dig at him because he voted down the health care bill. I imagine that John McCain isn’t really bothered by what Trump or any other little Trumpians say about him. But the rest of us should be.

If we are going to accept that, because someone is in the public eye, they’re fair game for anything, and no level of cruelty or ridicule is out of bounds, then we have not only lost our moral compass as a society, we are already drowning in a wide sea of mud. There is no moral leadership from the White House, so no one should look there. But does that really mean that the rest of us can now abandon all sense of decency, all measure of compassion, simply because the man at the top gets off on verbally slaughtering people? If Donald Trump is now presiding over our morality, we’re lost.

In 1994, shortly after my father announced that he had Alzheimer’s, I ran into a man who at that time was a regular on Howard Stern’s show. I’d done Howard’s show a couple of times and had met this man briefly. I was living in New York at the time, was out with friends, and he came bounding over to me. He said, “I have a new joke in my stand-up routine. What’s the first thing Ronald Reagan forgot now that he has Alzheimer’s — his daughter’s phone number.” Tears sprang into my eyes, I could barely speak, but I managed to say, “That’s not funny.” And I walked away. The next morning, early, a friend called and said, “You have to call into Howard Stern’s show right now. He’s begging you to call in because you need to be apologized to.” Apparently, Howard had been ripping this guy apart on air for being so unkind and insensitive. I called in, got the apology, but I can’t say I forgave the guy. Howard Stern is often accused of crossing lines, but I would submit that he has a really good moral compass and calls out cruelty when he sees it.

So should the rest of us. This cannot become the new normal. Everyone is entitled to civility and kindness, whether you are famous or not. Whether you are white or black, Hispanic or Muslim. Whether you are male, female, gay, straight, transgender. Whether you are Republican or Democrat. Donald Trump doesn’t live by that rule. We can’t let him and those in his administration pull us down to their depths. Because once down there, it’s almost impossible to climb out.