MY MOTHER

I got the call around 8:30 this morning, March 6, that my mother had died peacefully in her sleep. It was how she wanted to go. Fifteen minutes later I was in my car driving to her house and people began calling me, expressing their condolences, which was strange because I knew we hadn’t put out an official statement yet. Somehow, TMZ had gotten the news and had sent it out — none of us know how and we probably never will. It comes with the reality of living and dying in the public eye. It’s a strange dance, but one I’m familiar with.

My mother had been in poor health for quite a while, and recently had gotten markedly worse, so this wasn’t a surprise. That said, death always feels like a surprise. I appreciate the attention and prayers of people I will probably never meet. Just as when my father died, there is comfort in feeling surrounded by gentle thoughts and kind wishes, often sent out by strangers. And just as when my father died, we will honor my mother publicly — stand on the public stage and share as much as we can. Then, when that is completed, we’ll draw the circle in a little tighter and deal with the often complicated map of personal loss.

I wish I could thank individually everyone who has sent out messages on social media. I can’t, so I’m hoping they will read this and know how grateful I am.

138 Responses to MY MOTHER

  1. Rodney Wilson says:

    May your mother rest in God’s peace and rise in God’s glory, forever reunited with the love of her life, your father. My condolences to the Reagan family.

    • I rest my case in my personal message to you Patti – thank you so much for this moving message! You are very loved and supported jf

    • nancy e abbate says:

      My prayers go out to your family.I too lost my mon…in 2009…n still miss her.
      May God Bless you
      Nancy E Abbate

    • Diane Finston says:

      I have long admired you and your younger brother (and Maureen) We are approximately the same age and watched your and your younger brother’s bravery. My heart goes out to you. It is never easy to lose a parent. With much love, may you take solace from the love this country has for your mother (and your father.)

      • Leslie Smouha says:

        This has helped me during my times of loss. Hope it gives you some consolation. If tears could build a stairway and memories a lane, I’d walk right up to heaven and bring you home again. No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you were gone before I knew it and only God knows why. My heart still aches in sadness and secret tears still flow. What it means to lose you no one will ever know.

      • Tami Bennett says:

        Diane you missed a brother. Ronald Reagan and Jane Wyman had Maureen and adopted a son. Along with Patti and Ron Jr., that makes four siblings.

    • Mary Louder says:

      Dear Patti and family,

      Our condolences on the loss of your mother. She was a fine lady and a great American. Thank you for your kind words in your blog about her and for sharing your feelings. It is brave of you. Prayers and thoughts to you and your loved ones at this difficult time.

  2. Norman Welch aka "Norman A. Norman" says:

    Dear Patti,
    So sorry for your loss. It is a great loss, as she was a great lady.
    Regards,
    Norman

  3. Linda says:

    To Patti and rest of the Reagan Family – I want to send my condolences on the loss of your dear Mother. She was always classy and elegant. Your father was a great man and President. My husband and I just celebrated our 38th wedding anniversary – high school sweethearts- on March 4, the same wedding anniversary date of your parents. My husband and I were always proud to say we shared the same anniv date with Pres and Mrs. Reagan. I hope the many wonderful memories of your mother will soften the profound sadness and loss that you feel now. Know your Mother is loved by many.

  4. Noah Katz says:

    Patti, my deepest condolences.
    I met you once in Westport through a friend John Goldhurst. I know you know my aunt Pam Barkentin Blackburn. I wanted to give you a reference so you know it is not from just an anonymous person. Your parents will be greatly missed by everyone forever. So sorry for your loss.
    Sincerely,
    Noah Katz

  5. David Marks says:

    My friend, Patti, forever gracious, even at times of great personal loss. You possess what we all wish for ourselves; the ability to emote quietly, while exuding elegance and charm. You exemplify what a class act was always meant to be, and by its very definition, yours is its very human annotation and personification. Much love, always.

  6. Heartfelt condolences to you and your family. May her memory serve to inspire you always.

  7. Ms B says:

    My thoughts and prayers to your family. Your Mom and Dad brought back class, dignity, decorum, hope and pride to the country when it needed it the most. I only wish that America finds its way back to that leadership soon.

  8. I rest my case in my personal message to you Patti – you are very much surrounded with lots of love! jf

  9. Lynda Wells says:

    Ever gracious of you, Patti, to be thinking of others right away. I guess we are all, ultimately one, and therefore we reach out and hold one another in unity. It is comforting to know that as the wind beneath your father’s wings, your mother has flown back into his arms.

  10. Bill Whitmore says:

    While I did not always agree with the policies of President Reagan, I did respect his leadership and loyalty to his country and family. My respect for Mrs. Reagan was equally strong, I so admired her loyalty to her husband the president and how she was able to inspire him to reach out to others for the betterment of all mankind.

  11. Jessica Berk says:

    There are no words that can adequately express the monumental loss of such a gracious and devoted First Lady…yet at the end of the day she was just your mom. My condolences

  12. Karin Burnap Costa says:

    My heart goes out to you. Hard to share such a private loss with the world.

  13. Carrie says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. She was a lady of impeccable taste, and exuded a feeling of quiet confidence whenever I saw her on TV. I often read about her this past year as I went through grueling treatment for breast cancer. Knowing of her courage to face it, and survive surgery, all the while holding her head up, truly helped me! I’m so lucky to be back at work, in a job I love, teaching first grade children. God bless you, and thank you for all she did for the women of our country!!

  14. Debbie says:

    I am so sorry for your loss. Both you mom & dad are from an era that seems to be gone. Your dad was the first president I ever voted for. They were both such good examples. I know not perfect but still examples in a crazy world. She will be missed

  15. Ebenezer says:

    I’m praying for you, Patti. Your mother was an amazing woman, and it’s wonderful that she’s with her husband again. May she rest in peace.

  16. Jean Pennie says:

    Godspeed to your Mom as she joins your father at last. We were all blessed by their gracious stewardship of our nation. Hopefully you will find comfort in knowing so many share your grief. Thank you for sharing them with us.

  17. Teresa Frake says:

    God Bless your mother and you’re family. I am sure they are together right, holing each other, in love. And all the others that have gone and passed before them. And my mom also had Alzheimer, but will have passed one year on the 14th of this month of Marc. God Bless you, Patti.

  18. Sheral James says:

    Patti,

    Just like so many others, you do not know me, but I feel I know you and certainly have always admired you…such a talent! I hate that we have lost so many icons just recently, and your Mother tops that list. She was so elegant, and as that is how everyone typified my Mother who was a model and brilliant scholar, I could more easily relate to your beautiful Mother and the struggles she took on in her later years. My Mother also dealt with my Father after his massive heart attack who had almost no short term memory and she went from country club life to working at the State of Arizona in her 60’s to survive and build up a retirement. Blessings to you and the entire family.

  19. Dave says:

    Condolences to you and your family.

  20. Julia Harman says:

    My heartfelt condolences to you, Ron, Michael and the entire Reagan family.
    You have all been in my thoughts and prayers since the numbing news your Mother had passed. I pictured the reunion she had with your Dad and admit, that made me smile.

    Both your parents have been on my mind lately, and I’ve told friends how much I miss their class and leadership.

  21. Edward Jenny says:

    Nancy,

    Appreciate how difficult this must be, but your fans and friends appreciate your candor and gracious messages. Hope you and your family are allowed to close the circle soon and carry on with your own private needs. Be well, Peace.

    Edward and Sabra Jenny.

  22. Judy Roden says:

    My sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. I grieve the loss of a remarkable women just as I did when your father and my President died years ago. I miss the class and grace that your parents gave to our great country. What an example on how to live life with elegance and honor they both gave us. I miss their example. My thoughts and prayers are with you.

  23. Karen Feld says:

    Patti,

    Thinking of you at this difficult time and sending healing thoughts. I covered your parents during The White House years and always admired your mother’s inner strength, courage, presence and incredible style. She leaves a lasting legacy.

    Warmest thoughts,
    Karen Feld

  24. Suzanne Holland Schmidt says:

    So sorry for your loss, Patti. Hold your head high. You can always be proud of the contributions that your parents made to this country. God bless you.

  25. Peter J. Fox says:

    Dear Ms. Davis,

    My sincere condolences to you and yours. Though I have never met your mother or father, they provided us with the same quality of comfort that only good, loving parents can provide. Their goodness and purity of spirit was never in question. I long for their era to return to us once more; that time when we could rest at night knowing that our leaders- regardless of party affiliation-were sound of mind, and loved our country. Your parents were always clearly aware of our country’s need for them.

    My youngest sister once met your Mother, briefly, at a school function when she was in first grade. She still describes that day with great excitement in her voice.

    I sincerely wish you comfort and good wishes during this time. We will always be proud that your Mother was once our First Lady.

    With Respect and Prayers,

    Peter J. Fox

  26. Anne says:

    Sending prayers of comfort to your family, and a great big hug to you. Yes, death always feels like a surprise-so well put. Take care.

  27. JAMES CARTER FENTON says:

    You all were truly blessed to have a 3 diamentiual mother. When she would just walk into a room. Was like a light shinned on. Not absorbing, however a light shinned onto others!

  28. Kevin Spaeth says:

    Having lost my Mother this past year, I relate to your feelings at this time in your life. Prayers from my family to you and you’re family.

  29. Deauna Davis says:

    Your mother was always someone who I looked up to, even as a child. She always reminded me of my classy Grandmother in appearance. A lady of pure class, and elegance. Her example of being a devoted wife to your father is something that I truly admire. An American icon to be sure, such a treasure. I’m so sorry for your loss, but rejoice with you in knowing that she and your father are hand and hand again, and both of them whole and perfect. Prayers for you and your brothers and the rest of your loved ones.

  30. Tom Franklin says:

    Patti,

    I would like to express my condolences on your mother’s passing. She was a lovely lady and a wonderful helpmate and partner to your father. I had the privilege of meeting her a few times. She lived a long, productive life and was an inspiration to many people.

  31. Roberta Kent says:

    So sorry for your loss. What you wrote was beautiful. I too have lost both of my parents,but unlike you not in the public eye. I feel you have always been a class act.
    We have met several times,we had a mutual friend and teacher Mary Carver.
    I believe one of the hardest things about getting older is losing so many people we love.

  32. Paul Killian says:

    My deepest condolences to you, Patti , and your family, on the loss of your dear mother. I had the utmost respect and admiration for both your mother and father.

    I also have a great deal of respect for you as a person and author. I enjoy you and in many ways connect with you on many different levels. You are a smart articulate , sensitive and thoughtful person (and animal lover )….
    I love your courage in speaking your mind , despite all the outside noise and criticism you have had to endure when you do. I also admire how you were able to heal your past personal wounds and hurts with your parents without losing your authentic self. I connect to you on this and know first hand on how this is not an easy dance for a child. To your credit, you have succeeded in being able to love and forgive your parents , and at the same time succeeded in following your own individualism and heart in being your authentic self. Isn’t that why we are all here ? To learn to find and listen to whatever our inner core and soulful purpose in this sometimes crazy and chaotic life.

    Wishing you peace and love during this very difficult time for you … and I will look forward to your next book.

    -Paul K from New York

  33. I thought of you right away. Just do what makes you happy. I am not sending anything other than I liked your parents but you have to do what is right for you.

  34. C Ronald Kimberling says:

    Patti

    My deepest sympathies for your loss. It is a blessing that your mother lived long enough to appreciate what a wonderful daughter she had, and to be able to recalibrate her relationship with you. Our generation was the first in modern history to rebel against what we perceived to be the rigid values of our parents, and yet, as we’ve grown older, we recognize their virtues and sacrifices. I was one of the many supporters of your father who saw your mother as too materialistic, but the dedication she displayed during your father’s long illness made me realize that her primary personal quality was selfless love. I think the public, which always admired her class, came to see this wonderful human side, which is why she will move into the realm of legends. May you be at peace, knowing that there are many of us out there who admire you greatly for the caring person you are.

  35. Ashley Page says:

    Many prayers for you and your family.

    -Ashley Page

  36. Judy says:

    Hi, Patti: haven’t seen you in years, not since I worked on your book publicity, but know my thoughts are with you at this time. I remember the complicated relationship you had with your parents but mostly how you resolved it and were at peace in the end. God bless you as you move forward with your life. You were a good daughter to your parents and I’m sure they were proud of you.

  37. Jhill Perran says:

    Dear Patti,
    Thoughts and prayers are with you and Ron at this difficult time. My father stepped into eternity seven years ago, so I know and understand what that grief feels like. Thankfully, I still have my mother with me, so I cannot imagine what thoughts and feelings are going through your heart and mind in this moment. I’m quite certain that THIS grief is a very special one indeed.
    Our mothers are our first line to almost every feeling we have ~ having been so much a part of them and them so much a part of us! There is no other bond like the one we share with our mothers, and I can only imagine the palpable sense of loss you must be feeling, now that she has gone to “The Next Place”, where she has been reunited with your father. There must be some comfort in that fact for both you and your brother. I hope in the days and weeks ahead, that you will remember to pause and take moments here and there for yourself. That is so important, as the “laying-to-rest” process begins. May God’s comfort be yours now. May you and Ron feel your mother’s loving spirit wrapped around you both. She is still here with you. Love never dies. Ever… Godspeed and peace~Jhill Perran

    • Gigi Shapiro says:

      Dearest Patti,
      Hugs to you on this sad day.. I met your Mom way back in the day’s of your Dad being Governor.. Ron and I went to Andover together and I came out out to CA to look at colleges.. Your Mom wss so stunning and one tough cookie.. Your Dad was so kind. You were an amazing writer back then too.. I remember Ron telling me of you co-writing ” I wish you Peace” with Bernie Leadon of the Eagles..if I may quote you..

      “I wish you peace when the cold winds blow
      Warmed by the fire’s glow
      I wish you comfort in the, the lonely time
      And arms to hold you when you ache inside

      I wish you hope when things are going bad
      Kind words when times are sad
      I wish you shelter from the, the raging wind
      Cooling waters at the fever’s end

      I wish you peace when times are hard
      The light to guide you through the dark
      And when storms are high and your, your dreams are low

      I wish you the strength to let love grow on,
      I wish you the strength to let love flow,

      I wish you peace when times are hard
      A light to guide you through the dark
      And when storms are high and your, you dreams are low
      I wish you the strength to let let grown on,
      I wish you the strength to let love flow,
      I wish you the strength to let love glow on
      I wish you the strength to let love go on.”

      xooxo Gigi

  38. Craig "Burnie" Burns says:

    Very sweetly put.

  39. Bobby Rose says:

    Very sorry to hear this sad news. Losing a parent–a mom–is especially difficult. My condolences to you and your family.

  40. Ken Crow says:

    Patti; I don’t know if you fully realize or not the deep-seeded love, respect, admiration and honor that our nation has and has had for your parents and your entire family. When we look toward greatness for inspiration, your father and mother are always on the tips of our tongue. On behalf of the new modern day Tea Party, I want to thank you from the bottom of our hearts for sharing them with this nation for so many years.

    During this time of sorrow, know that this nation is praying for you and the rest of your family to have God’s peace.

    Your mother showed our nation what true love and support of a spouse is supposed to look like and for this we will always be grateful. She was truly a remarkable lady and our nation misses her daily.

    God Bless and we as citizens are with you in spirit and love. I am certain that your father has greeted her in heaven with a warm smile and a gentle hug and the Lord has said: “well done my good and faithful servant”.

    Ken Crow (crowsnestpoliticss.com)

  41. R Flynn says:

    I think it is doubtful that your parents will rest in peace. Now that they are together again, I see them dancing through eternity in each others arms. Joyfully, lovingly dancing. God bless them, bless you, and bless all their loved ones.

  42. Michael Hall, Lt Col (Ret) says:

    To live is Christ
    To die is gain
    Our loss is their gain
    Until we meet again

  43. Victoria Ranocchi says:

    My deepest condolences to you and your family. Your mother was a beautiful example of strength and grace. It seems apparent that she was blessed to have had a good life. She served our country honorably.

  44. […] Nancy’s death on Sunday, her daughter Patti, 63, also penned a public letter, saying her mother had died ‘peacefully in her sleep’ the way she always ‘wanted […]

  45. William Metz says:

    I got the news alert yesterday while sitting in church and said a prayer for you, Ron and Michael. God bless and keep your family. Thank you for “sharing” your parents with the world.

  46. Patty Navarro says:

    Your Mom and Dad are together again. No more suffering.

    May the love your Mom had for both your Brother and yourself help you get through these tough times.

    God bless you xxx

  47. Heather Tanchuck says:

    I am very sorry.

  48. Jon Lawrence says:

    Beautifully put, the nation mourns your loss.

  49. Susan Snyder Ayres says:

    Dear Patti,
    My heartfelt condolences to you and your family. I must say I always admired you much more than your parents. I remember reading something you wrote years ago about helping a homeless person. If I remember correctly you didn’t have a lot to give, but you helped her anyways. God bless you.

  50. C says:

    It is natural to feel grief when a loved one leaves us. When grief is sharp – as it is likely to be for some time – the wise tell us that the departed soul senses that emotion, and it makes them realize how deeply they are loved. However, when possible, it is best for us to culture a feeling of happiness. This will not only make our lives more pleasant, it will further our loved one’s evolution, as well.

    “It is obvious that at every moment the body is changing. The body of a child is not the body of a youth; and
    the body of a youth is not the body of an old man.
    So, if death is inevitably going on, even during what is said to be life, nothing new seems to happen when one
    body dies and another body is taken. There is no point therefore in lamenting the death of the body – and even less in lamenting it in anticipation.” -from the commentary of Maharishi Mahesh Yogi on the Bhagavad Gita, 2:18

  51. Brian Richwine says:

    Sorry for your loss. Prayers for you and the family.

  52. Catherine says:

    Dear Patti,

    I have read about your journey with your mother (and parents) and have admired your candor, and your own personal journey, over the decades. You have shown how it is possible, despite disagreeing with our parents or realizing their imperfections, that we can heal and be with them. After a turbulent decade with my mother and some estrangement, I see her again as I did when I was younger. And now that she is in the last few decades of her life, I hope that she can live well into her 90s with the health and vigor she has at 77. Because I don’t want to lose her again, not yet. I will embrace her, hold her close, and enjoy each day I have with her — even though we are far across the miles.

    My condolences to you on the loss of your mother (and father) and may your time ahead be filled with the cherished memories and love that you had for them.

    Best wishes, Catherine from KY

  53. Muriel Katz says:

    I remember your Mom being one of the most elegant First Ladies our country ever had. Time and again, while watching her on TV, I would have the impression of Good Manners and Tact combined with Steel and Intelligence.

    While others may have come close, there has truly been no one like her in our White House, since.

    May your Mom rest in peace and be with her beloved husband, now. And may God heal the hearts of you and all the others who knew and loved this great lady even more than we did.

    She will not be forgotten.

  54. Brenda Garces says:

    Nancy was a ray of sunshine.To me she was america’s first lady.Never a frown or sad look from her.She was grace and royality.You could say she was an angel from heaven.I can remember hoe she care about us.
    My her shinning light give you strength and stability to live life to the fullest.Nancy is at peace and at home with your father.The two most beautiful people ive ever known.Nancy will be missed.The only president i voted for.Your father.May god bless you and your brother and family.Yellow rose to her

  55. Bekepu John says:

    She was a great woman who lived all her life with a purpose. A mother indeed and wife indeed. Mummy may your gentle soul rest in the bosom of our Lord. Hope you met your sweetheart and reunited with him in eternity. Adieu

  56. […] wrote this tribute to her mother on her blog […]

    • Gigi Shapiro says:

      Dearest Patti,
      Hugs to you on this sad day.. I met your Mom way back in the day’s of your Dad being Governor.. Ron and I went to Andover together and I came out out to CA to look at colleges.. Your Mom wss so stunning and one tough cookie.. Your Dad was so kind. You were an amazing writer back then too.. I remember Ron telling me of you co-writing ” I wish you Peace” with Bernie Leadon of the Eagles..if I may quote you..

      “I wish you peace when the cold winds blow
      Warmed by the fire’s glow
      I wish you comfort in the, the lonely time
      And arms to hold you when you ache inside

      I wish you hope when things are going bad
      Kind words when times are sad
      I wish you shelter from the, the raging wind
      Cooling waters at the fever’s end

      I wish you peace when times are hard
      The light to guide you through the dark
      And when storms are high and your, your dreams are low

      I wish you the strength to let love grow on,
      I wish you the strength to let love flow,

      I wish you peace when times are hard
      A light to guide you through the dark
      And when storms are high and your, you dreams are low
      I wish you the strength to let let grown on,
      I wish you the strength to let love flow,
      I wish you the strength to let love glow on
      I wish you the strength to let love go on.”

      xooxo Gigi

  57. Rose Ann Ward says:

    The loss of our mothers is worse than anyone could predict. Find comfort in the knowledge your parents are finally together again. What they did and gave to our country is a blessing to us all. Your mothers grace and example to all of us is immeasurable. My father also had alzheimers,the toll it took on the mothers is enormous. Welcome to the adult orphans club…..sending hugs and prayers to all….
    May light perpetual shine upon them….always

  58. Patti,
    My sincere condolences to you and your family on the loss of your mother. You have been a treasure to many of us through your work with the Alzheimer’s support group. I hope you are comforted by knowing that you are loved by many, and that your mother and father, now reunited, will be shining their light on you from above. I send you love, hugs, and peace.
    Warmest regards,
    Pattie Fitzgerald.

  59. John Ussery says:

    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. I am so sorry for your loss. I have said to myself several times, over the past few years especially, that I wish people would leave you alone and respect your privacy. My greatest respect for your family has been it’s humanness even while in the public eye. You are a very gifted writer and your candor is appreciated. May God bless you.

  60. Russell Crow says:

    Ms. Davis,

    Please accept fondest sympathies and a virtual embrace from billions of us who realize how your parents changed our world into a better place. I quote President and Mrs. Reagan regularly, to teach the new generations how we arrived at this place; in this Shining City on the Hill.

    God Bless and Keep You,
    Russell Crow

  61. Maggi says:

    I’m in Sacramento (Roseville) and remember when your Mom & Dad were living in East Sacramento during his tenure as our Governor. Sorry for your lost and sending you, love, light & prayers during this difficult time.

  62. […] Nancy’s death on Sunday, her daughter Patti Davis, 63, also penned a public letter, saying her mother had died ‘peacefully in her sleep’ the way she always ‘wanted […]

  63. Vanessa Odom says:

    My sincere condolences. She was a beautiful lady and an inspiration to many young wives as to how to love and support her husband. RIP

  64. Your immediate thoughts shared in MY MOTHER are beautiful, Patti.
    With love,
    Larry Thompson

  65. Beatriz Watson says:

    To all of Distinguish family Mr. & Mrs. Regan.
    A mother its a Blessing from heaven; Am so happy hear Mrs. Patti, you been there for you mom. God its a transformation blessing for all mother prayer for the children, Isaiah 49.
    Our Eterno bring a great shalom to all yours.
    Sincerely.
    Ms. Beatriz Watson.

  66. Richard St. John says:

    I admired your parents. I served in the U.S. Navy and I was proud of your father as our President. I continue to watch movies your father star in. Your mother is an aspiration to us all.

  67. Victoria Briseno says:

    To the Reagan Family,
    Please accept my sincere condolences on the loss of your mother. I was sadden to hear the news yesterday and immediately said a prayer for your mother. I would like to say, that your mother was always so graceful and such a pillar of strength next to your father. It touched me to see how in love the two of them were. To watch that on television came through in a touching way that I was sure it was a true love story. How lucky for the two of them to have found that kind of love, one can only wish the same. Your parents were of the same generation as mine and I too witnessed the love my parent’s shared. I have also now lost my parent’s and there isn’t a single day that I don’t miss them terribly. I hope that God gives you strength and that you be kind to yourself. Your mom is now with your dad in the arms of a loving and forgiving God. We join you in your loss as a nation.

  68. Laurie Davies says:

    Dear Patti and the Reagan family,

    I just would like to offer my condolences and prayers. Your mother, I feel was the opitomy of class and grace. I have not seen that in the White House since and it was a breath of fresh air. I am 65 and remember quite a bit about the love story of your Mom and Dad. I do wish all of your family love, prayers, and peace. Your Mom and Dad and now together.

  69. E. D. Lutwak says:

    Sending love and condolences at this time of transition. Yes, your public life has had its challenges, but please know that by sharing stories of your life – especially the reconciliation with your parents – you’ve provided strength and inspiration to other daughters of our generation. Our families so learned so much from your mother as well about love and strength. (In the 70s, we were cottage courtyard neighbors and I’m always happy to read your work.)

  70. […] and Nancy’s daughter Patti Davis, 63, also shared her remembrances of her mother via a public letter on Sunday, following her mother’s […]

  71. Margaret Wurth says:

    Pattie your mother was a great lady and a wonderful First Lady sorry for all of your family

  72. […] Nancy’s death on Sunday, her daughter Patti Davis, 63, also penned a public letter, saying her mother had died ‘peacefully in her sleep’ the way she always ‘wanted […]

  73. Kyle Hammond says:

    To the entire Reagan Family-I was only 10 when your father became President of the United States. Not an age when I really understood what that truly meant. I watched your mother more because to me, the mother means more at that age. She was a beautiful woman and truly seemed to care. Today I do a lot of work for my local Alzheimer’s Association due to the presence in my families life and I am so grateful for her work and advocacy. It is truly unfortunate that the public eye is now something you will have to endure right now, but it comes with the life that your parents lead. Today I understand that since I am now an adult. Please know that regardless of agreement or not of political beliefs-Your parents were amazing people. Today I honor them both. Know she has come to live in peace once more and the love story has continued once again and they are dancing with joy once more. My heartfelt condolences to you in your loss. May God hold you close to Him during your time of loss. May you find peace as you learn to live this new stage of your life and may you learn to feel her presence with you in new ways.

  74. My own mother passed away in 1985.She was a great fan of Mrs Reagan,and President Reagan was the last president she voted for. Best Regards to you and your family.

  75. Denise says:

    Thank you for sharing BOTH of your parents with me……& the rest of the world. What a wonderful love story they were, & will continue to be in my mind. I wish you & your brother the best as you reconcile your mom’s death.

    God bless you~

  76. Judy Norris says:

    I am so sorry for your family’s loss and our loss as a nation. Your father and mother were the “Prince & Princess” of my generation !!!!! Their’s was a true love story !!!! I, as many others, felt privileged to be able to witness a small part of it !!!!!!

  77. Dan Black says:

    You honor your Mother by being you. May happy memories remain close to your heart and sustain you during such a difficult time.

  78. Julie says:

    Dear Patti,

    My condolences to you and your family at the loss of your mother.
    Your parents love for each other and of our nation are an inspiration to all.
    May God bring you comfort and peace.

  79. Susan Bauer says:

    Patti,
    My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family. You lived in the bungalow on 18th and Idaho in Santa Monica with your dog Freebo back in the 80’s. I lived in the 4-plex there. I will never forget that dreadful day of the assassination attempt on your father. So much time has passed, yet the lasting memories of both your parents are very dear. I wish you find Peace and Love surround you during this very difficult time.

    Fondly,

    Susan Bauer

  80. David Packer says:

    Patti, My thoughts and prayers are with you and Ron and Michael. I lost my mother seven years ago and I still am on the grief journey. I will always have tremendous respect for your mother’s loving care to your father in his last years. My mother had dementia so I know the pain. Mrs. Reagan was full of charm and grace and class. Fiercely supportive of your father. I know it was hard for her after your dad passed. Take comfort in knowing your parents are together again. We had ties to the BelAir Presbyterian Church as well as BelAir. My dad was President of Bell Company and Congressman Alphonzo Bell was dad’s partner and best friend. The parties at BelAir Country Club were unforgettable and your folks no doubt frequented there. I remember when they attended the funeral of William French Smith at San Marino Community Church which was also our church. I corresponded with Jean Smith when we both lived in San Marino. My dad and Alphonzo obviously knew your folks. My heart goes out to you. Your mom and mine were so much alike in looks and grace and were the same age. I have been in tears ever since learning of your mom’s death. I have always and will always admire and respect the Reagans. They remain in my heart always. David Packer Pasadena, Ca.

  81. SOwen says:

    Condolences! May your mother be reunited with the love of her life, your father.
    God Bless and be with you all during this time.
    Blessed Be!!!

  82. Debbie Fisher says:

    Dearest Patti,

    As always, you write from your heart with beauty, honesty and grace. Damon and I are so sorry for your loss and send you love and peace during this time.

  83. David Packer says:

    My thoughts and prayers to you, Patti-Ron-and Michael. I lost my mom seven years ago so I know the grief journey you take. We as a nation mourn the passing of Mrs. Reagan. She was full of class and elegance and graciousness. And her care for your dad was most commendable. We had ties also to BelAir Presbyerian Church and BelAir as my dad’s best friend and partner was Alphonzo Bell. He and my dad knew your father. I feel a great loss today. My heart is with you. David Packer Pasadena, Ca.

  84. Nancy Edwards says:

    I am so very sorry for your loss. I lost my own mom over 6 years ago and, yes, we knew she was in ill health but still, it’s hard. You are never really prepared for something like this.

    Your mom was such a classy lady. She brought such elegance and dignity to the White House, as did your dad. I doubt if there will ever be a First Lady like your mom during my lifetime.

    This is the end of an era but, for you, it’s the beginning of the rest of your life without your wonderful mother. We’ve lost the best First Lady in modern history, but you’ve lost your mom. Let us not forget that.

    Nancy

  85. Mizzeff says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I have a complicated, tumultuous relationship with my mom, too. Your dad’s 1980 (1981) inauguration was the first one I went to see even though I was a 15-year-old anti-Republican. It was still thrilling to see your mom in her red coat and hat. You have always held a special place in my heart for being your own person and I’m so sorry you lost your mom. Love to you.

  86. Lance Lukenbill says:

    Patti you have my sincerest condolences regarding the loss of your mother. I met her in Glendale, later your father in Toluca Lake, during his campaign against Carter. She was a lady of class, grace, and conviction. Bless you Patti. May you have peace and strength.
    Lance

  87. Mars says:

    Mrs. Patti, I just now heard of your loss and the subsequent negativity regarding your statement which I read. I cannot understand how strangers can make such a harsh and unfair judgement. I also cannot imagine exactly what words I would use in your place, but your words felt honest and appropriate. Condolences to you and your family. Your Mom was a singularly – a lady of class who rose above the negativity such as you are now experiencing. Godspeed, Dear Mrs. Nancy Reagan!

  88. […] original message referred to the 94-year-old former first lady’s death as “expected”, adding […]

  89. Patti, Losing one’s mother is perhaps the hardest thing we have to face in life. I hope you can find solace in knowing she is reunited with her true love again. What you wrote in “A Letter from Heaven” was so beautiful and inspiring. Wishing you strength and grace as you walk through this difficult time.

  90. Our heartfelt condolences to you and your family for the loss of your mother, an elegant, classy, stately, and wise woman who was not afraid to show her love for her husband, or to speak her mind. President and Mrs. Reagan brought back a beauty and elegance to the White house that will not be forgotten, and their lifelong love story is an example to all. The world has lost a true lady who will be missed. I pray you are comforted by the many who share your loss.

  91. Lori says:

    Death, indeed, does always feel like a surprise!

    (1) I had the same thought.

    I thought I had more time with your Mother (al beit in public media). And I will miss her gracious presence and her warm demeanor towards those she loved. You could see this sparkle in her eyes in each photograph and story remarking on the intractable relationship she had with your father.

    (2) I had the same thought.

    I thought of my own Mother, whom I wish I had more time with. She too died recently. And then I grabbed a “Queen Size” baby blanket she crocheted for me just as I was headed off too college. And so I wish I too, I had more time with my Mom, as I clasped this symbol of my mother’s resolve for my “independence.”

    I believe our relationships with our Mothers have been complicated by their dreams of “independence” for the “ladies” of our generation and the imprint of cultural moirés that compell us to want to uphold our “absolutely best past” (i.e., the notion of sustainable nuclear and extended family.”

    This being said, our grieving processes are ever slowed down by those who think they know how we should feel, what we should say and what we should do to honor our heritage. We evolve internally to find peace with each of our memories, one memory at a time.
    .

    You are a remarkable woman to have lived in the public eye for so long.
    For those of us not used to media coverage, the site of a hospital ceilng camera is enough to shout” Right to privacy!” Right to privacy!”

    When I see the pictures of those laying flowers outside of your father’s Presidential LIbrary and your Mother’s Bel Air home, tears run down my cheeks and now I think — I hope somebody brings flowers to Patti’s house too.

    I’ll bet Patti likes flowers and much as I do. Peace be with you. You have a remarkable spirit.

    Blessings.

  92. Lynn Levin says:

    Patti, my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this time and the difficult days ahead. And in particular, great thanks for a service that goes unrecognized in society today…LL

  93. Susan Bloom says:

    Beautiful words about the loss of your mother. Yes, despite someone being in poor health and knowing the end is inevitable, it IS always a ‘surprise.’ The passing of a remaining parent us so final, so shocking that you can’t be prepared. We are suddenly adult orphans. While others may care, the love of our parents — if we’re lucky — can’t be replaced. When your mother was asked about your Dad’s passing, she said ‘people told me it would get easier. Maybe for them it did but not for me.’ She was so right, things get different but not easier. May you find comfort in warm memories and special belongings she held dear. Peace and strength to you as you embark on this most unwanted adventure. P. S. Ignore the rude, insensitive people on Facebook. Too much nasty seems to be going around the country these days 🙁

  94. […] original message referred to the 94-year-old former first lady’s death as “expected”, adding […]

  95. Bobbi Jo Peuse-Celli says:

    Several years ago, my husband and I were offered a reality show contract based on our adoptions of special needs teens, as you can imagine, a calamitous household. In lieu of riches, we chose to decline to protect the privacy and travails of our children as they heal, grow and thrive. We have had the privilege of knowing your family as real. Real in the love your parents shared. Real in the exposure of their family. Real
    in the struggles of their children on their path to adulthood. Real in loss crisis, challenges and loss. Your parents and you kids, made great sacrifices of privacy. But the sacrifices gave us hope and courage when we needed it, and their love story gave us an example of devotion, loyalty and commitment that will live on in American history. I want to say thank you and wish you comfort as you continue on in life without your mother. In many ways, our parents remain with us in all they taught us and in the memories we take with away. Thank you for sharing the services and allowing us to say goodbye.

  96. Wendy Fink-WeberWestern says:

    Patti,

    It has been many years too many since we have spoken. Please know that I sincerely saddened about the death of your mother. She was very good to me and I owe her so much. I am so glad you reconciled with her. Let’s do the same, old friend.

  97. Igor Sill says:

    Patti, my heartfelt condolences to you and your family. Your mother was an incredible person and will remain so in everyone’s memories. May she rest in peace. Best, as always, Igor

  98. Bart says:

    Your mom was a very grate lady i was younger i do not remember all the things that happen with dad or mom but I do know was a good lady after you dad but i can say what people is talking a bad about you is wrong you did not say a thing wrong at all my dad was sick for like 5 years when he dies my mom said it was good for him and us so we know what you meant hope to be ok i know it take times my dad dies in 2000

  99. Sandra Warren says:

    When I visited the Reagan Library, I was struck by the small amount of area in front of the gravesite before the canyon drops off. I thought about all of the cameras that had been set up right in front of you in that space while your family said your final goodbyes at sunset. Your mother looked so bereft and exhausted after two coast-to-coast trips. Your family sacrificed your private and personal goodbyes so that the nation might mourn, but having those cameras so close at such a private time seemed too much to ask. I’m so sorry that you’ve already been intruded upon by TMZ and snarky comments. I hope that you can be comforted by the fact that she lived a wonderful life with all its ups and downs, and was respected for her devotion. Take care.

  100. I completely understand, having gone through this; my wife died in 2010 and the policeman on scene at my house was suspicious of my lack of teary emotions so he forced an autopsy. My wife of 44 years, Patti Ann Lytle, in 1975 began showing signs of mental illness, anxiety attacks and over the years since needed institutionalizations until finally in 2010 she rapidly descended into Alzheimer’s. Tears and despair were my life for 34 years. You are OK; many have not experienced our burdens. Jesus and his heavenly father are refuges.

  101. Duke says:

    Mrs. Davis,

    Our condolences to you and your family.

    Your Mother was truly a remarkable person whom we will all miss.

    She and your Father led a full life and now they can be at peace.

    Please do not worry about the press. We all experience loss in different ways and we know you love and miss
    your Mother.

    God bless

  102. […] older sister, Patti Davis, released a statement on her website saying her mother “died peacefully in her […]

  103. John P says:

    Much love and light to all…

  104. Noreen S says:

    Patti, I am so very sorry to hear that people are posting mean things on your statement after your Mom passed away. It’s true that none of can know how it feels to lose a parent until it happens, and for those of us who have walked this path with you I hope it’s some comfort to know we are grieving with you and are angry with you that people would take this opportunity to be “haters”. Though your parents were in the pubic eye, we should all respect that to you they were just your parents, and you should be allowed to grieve in private and with as much time as you need. Wanted to let you know you are in our thoughts and prayers….

  105. Patricia says:

    Dear Patti,
    Please accept my condolences on the loss of your mother. It is difficult to watch our parent’s health decline. Even though we know their death is inevitable, it is a shock when the time arrives. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family at this difficult time.
    -Patricia

  106. jrt says:

    There is nothing wrong with you being at peace/ok with your mothers passing. We all must move on. Birth is celebrated and so must death be celebrated. Those that judge you for your statements are only afraid to die.

  107. Zoltan A Balogh says:

    Please accept my condolences during this loss with your mom’s passing into the heaven she and your father beleive in. Last year I lost my dad at age 93, and he too exemplified the same values attitudes and beliefs your parents did also. Do not listen to those who would criticize you for anything you say or do during this grieving process. Take solice in the “HOPE” that both of them have realized the “REALITY” of the “ETERNAL LIFE HEAVEN” they so believed in, and may she and your father experience the “BOUNDLESS LOVE OF GOD” and experience peace and happiness reunited in their ETERNAL LOVE for each other, as they together “Touch the face of God.” GOD BLESS your entire family during this time of grief. Amen.

  108. Rebecca White says:

    I just lost my dad, and coming to find that losing the second parent is worse than the first because the parent that was left still sort of carried the first with them. I’m with you in spirit, dear.

  109. Janice says:

    Patti, May your mother rest in peace and may you and your family be comforted in knowing that she is back with your dad and now with the Lord. Your words in announcing your Mother’s death were very suitable and do not let the haters bother you. Peace!

  110. Dean says:

    Patti,

    Heartfelt condolences on the loss of your mother. She was an elegant first lady and I especially enjoyed her interviews over the years with Larry King and others. I adored your parents and the entire Reagan family. I am not a Republican, but I voted my first time for your father in 1984. I miss their grace, elegance and class while in the White House. After they left, nothing was ever the same again. No president has been as positively influential as your father was in my lifetime. His kindness to people of all walks of life was exemplary, even when in disagreement. This is sorely missing today.

    I spent some time on your website reading your works, and they are incredible and so touching!! You inherited your father’s gift of writing and communicating in so many ways. I never knew you were such a talented and beautiful author. I read some of your short works to my wife and we both shed a tear, especially the stories about your father, yourself and your respect for wildlife.

    May your mother rest in peace and join your father once again. Both of them lived amazing lives many would trade places for. Some day I will come to the Reagan Presidential library to pay my respects. God bless you and Ron Jr.

  111. Robert Warner says:

    My prayers go out to you and your family. We as a nation were very Blessed indeed to have been given the gift of your parents. The outpouring you see from the American people is testimony to that. Thank you for sharing them and may God comfort you now. Eternal rest grant them, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon them. May they rest in peace.

  112. Nick says:

    Families are complicated, with so many ups and downs and twists and turns. When I read your mom’s book–written at a time of some discord between you–she wrote about not wanting your relationship to feel “If only…” after she had passed. I was so glad that many years ago, you each made your peace with the other and now that the day has finally come, I am sure you find comfort in that reconciliation. As a complete stranger, I might be presumptuous to say that, but it is sent with my sincerest warm wishes.

  113. Kay Douglass says:

    Our heartfelt sympathy for you and your siblings in the passing of your elegant mother. I bet your father was smiling upon her arrival. God bless you, Patti. <3

  114. Kim Regan says:

    Beautifully said woman. I still remember the call that told me that my mother was not be be here much longer.The passing of parents is like the world suddenly is divided…into the before and after. You have handled the before and learned much. You will handle the after. You have great genes and a soul of your own. It has taken you far and you have much more of life to enjoy. I wish for peace for you and yours.

  115. Kevin Dix says:

    I heard that you have taken some criticism for this post. I think it is lovely and generous of you to reach out publicly to people before your mother has even been buried. I didn’t lose my parents in the public eye and it still took me weeks or months to reach out to others to thank them for their condolences. The loss of a parent, whether expected or not, always comes with some degree of shell shock and I can only imagine that is compounded when life has to be lived so publicly.

    My condolences to you and your family.

    I was only six when your father became president. Your parent’s tenure in the White House was the first I can remember and despite my adult liberal ideology, I still think fondly of them and “those days” and the images they projected that inspired a little gay boy from nowhere to aspire to do better and, yes, “just say no to drugs”.

    Wishing you the very best,

    Kevin

  116. charlie crenshaw says:

    Patti, I read ur statement and the Time article where I was struck with the sheer honesty and sensitivity u felt towards your mother. She is gone but never forgotten. The window you left us was a wonderful glimpse of a patient mother consoling a broken hearted daughter. I hope u always remember the good memories u had with her. We grieve with u on Nancy Reagan’s passing. Best
    charlie crenshaw

  117. John C Molina says:

    My condolences to You and all the Reagan Family for lost of your Mother.
    May the prayer be with all the family.

    God Bless
    John Molina

  118. James Woodruff says:

    I always admired you, growing up during the same time as you did, for your fiery independence and your willingness to be your own person. I hope you will find peace in your life during these difficult times.

  119. Leo Reilly says:

    Hi Patty,

    If this happened to me, I would have the exact same feelings. So glad you were able to connect with your mom at least for a short time….some peace had at last. Sometimes when someone leaves us, hurt feelings come back stronger. It’s sometimes a whole new relationship of working through the pain, understanding, forgiving, to ultimately get to the peace and love. If this happens–even for a minute–know you’re not alone as it’s all been done before by many, many people. You’ll find the key to this ordeal & I hope you write about it to help other people. It’s so hard because someone’s ability to love and have such strength and all spent on one person.

    Please keep the faith.

  120. Linda Moore says:

    Patti, I just watched your Mom’s funeral on Fox streaming. It was beautiful and it really moved me. My parents were very much like yours. Completely devoted to each other. It’s a beautiful thing but for kids it can be difficult. I completely understand how you felt. But both of my parents loved me unconditionally and I’m so glad you found a way to reconcile with your mother. You will never regret it. My sister never did and the two of us don’t have a relationship because of that. I’m so very sorry for your loss, but when my Mom died I knew she was at peace just like your Mom because she was going to see her beloved Jim. That brought me so much comfort. I envied their love because I never had it in my own life. Much love and contentment to you.

  121. Janet says:

    Ms. Patti, I offer my condolences to you and your family. I watched your mother’s service on CNN today and it was beautiful. Everyone who spoke at her service had such wonderful things to say. I especially enjoyed the stories that you and your brother Ron shared. You both had me laughing and crying. Your mother was a remarkable woman. May she rest in peace. Sincerely, Janet

  122. Sherry Doty says:

    Prayers, cyber-hugs & blessings to you during this most difficult time. Your Mother was a beautiful lady who planned a wonderful celebration of her life. I was especially touched with the reading of the 1Thessalonians passage as I read the exact same passage at my own Mother’s life celebration. Take care.

  123. Matt Zeni says:

    My deepest sympathy to you and your brother. Your words today were very touching and heartfelt and done with incredible poise and unconditional love. Your mother was a remarkable woman and the love your parents had for one another is a love story for the ages. One that also made a difference in the shape and direction of this nation. They are together again. And your parents are with you always. I believe that. It’s been three years since my father died at the age of 90 but a thought or memory will pleasantly interrupt me on any given day and it brings a smile. Your father was an amazing writer and speaker.
    As a young radio journalist in Columbia, Missouri almost 30 years ago, I will always remember covering your father’s visit to Columbia. It was his first visit leaving the White House since the Iran-Contra scandal broke. I still have the original tape recordings of the entire day from when Air Force touched down at the airport, your father’s visits to a grade school and his speech at the high school. He was the Great Communicator. And one of the greatest presidents in our nation’s history.
    God bless you, Ms. Davis, and my prayers to you and your family.
    Matt

  124. Jean Barrucand says:

    dear Patti, Ron and Michael,

    my wife and I watched the ceremony yesterday and we felt sad on the loss of your mother because before being the wife of the 40th President of the USA, she was your mother.

    but, today she went away to another place where no one comes back from, the place but be nice.

    but remember that your mother will never be away from you and will live fore ever as long as you keep her in your thoughts.

    she has become immortal and your are the ones with the ability to give her that special gift.

    your friends in Canada.
    Jean and Eleanor.

  125. Bette DiNovo says:

    When your parents were in Washington I felt so proud to be an American. They were a class act. I am sorry for your loss, Patti. It is never easy to lose a parent. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

  126. Nancy Koonce says:

    Dear Patti,

    I lost my mum last year and continue to miss her lovely face..she so looked like your precious mother. I loved the couple in the White House 1881-1989…they truly served with dignity, grace and united our country just when we most needed it. I long for morning in America again. May you, like me find peace in the love the world and in my case the community,
    held for our dear mothers. I respect you for your individuality and survival instincts to be your own person…that is what being an American is all about….knowing our blessings shared just being graced to be in this country…I leave you with love and peace and prayers for relief of all anxiety.

    God is good all of the time!

    Nancy OOOOO

  127. David Michael Rich says:

    Condolences on the loss of your mother. It must be a harder loss to deal with in the spotlight. You’ve always been your own woman. So was she. So even though your perspectives were different on many things, she gave you something important, a commitment to your own voice. You’re strong. Stay that way. Wishing you strength and peace.

  128. Mrs. Claus says:

    I read this morning that your “terse” statement about your mother’s passing were available on your website so I came to see what the truth is. Knowing that reporters make a living by spreading lies, half truths, distorted facts and myths about people, I wanted to see if your statement was really what they said. If it had been, I would have stopped reading it and closed the page, never to speak of it again. The fact is, your statement is heartfelt, kind and loving, which is what I expected to find.

    Allow me to apologize for all those who posted hateful messages about you, your parents, your family, throughout your life. I can not imagine living my life in a fishbowl where every move I make and every word I speak is torn apart by some jerk in the media who is all about having a byline on a piece of what they call news but I call gossip.

    Your public humiliation and the false or distorted truth provided about you during your days of coming to terms with an imperfect childhood (who among us doesn’t have some childhood issue which cause us pain in our adult life?), raised by humans (not perfect parents), was bad enough but to continue to judge you without having a clue who you are is unfathomable.

    Make peace with yourself that the damage done to you is not your fault. Know also that while there are millions of people who open the news just to hear how terrible someone in the media is, there are many more (millions) who don’t have a clue as to the details of those stories…and don’t care, either. I stay away from all of the “histrionic” news about everyone, famous or family, and prefer to simply judge the person by how they treat me. Since you are a stranger, I can’t use that criteria to judge you…so I won’t judge you at all. EXCEPT what beautiful comments you posted here, appropriately, about your parents and what was to come in the days ahead. While I am a housewife, not a journalist, I have better things to do with my time than to read about someone else’s life.

    Bless you!

  129. Ilene Lynch says:

    Patti
    Accept my condolences at the lost of your mother. You will always be with her for she is in your heart. I enjoyed your eulogy. I am glad you and your mother became close again. Believe me many of us have had periods of estrangement from our parents. But thank God you were able to share love with them at the end times-some of us never get that chance. You can live the rest of your lives with their love and yours for them interwined. Peace and blessings

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